Documenting practice

Today I've been mainly reciewing and selecting Alexis' 'best bits' from her WHOLE ARCHIVE of performance. In one sense, I am very lucky to have seen her whole archive of performance. Most people only ever get to see bits and bobs but having seen archive footage from 2000 to 2008, I have tracked Alexis' development as an artist and seen how it may apply to my own practice. Starting out as a performance poet, Alexis started using technology to manipulate her voice for effect, which then turned into building live soundscapes, and in turn then developed into any medium from cabaret to interactive installations. I see a lot of similarities in the way that I started as someone who made music, then someone who put performance pieces into my music gigs which, in turn, led to me going back to do my MA to develop my performance practice.

Reviewing the documentation has also forced me to consider opening up' my practice. I have always felt that it should be one thing or the other, when instead there is a time and a place for all parts of my practice. For example, the spectacle and 'song and dance' nature of my work has fitted into cabaret and entertainment pieces, but the thing I must, must realise and have discussed before is discarding this notion for 'forced entertainment'; as in worrying whether the audiece will like my work or not. Again, to go back to a work that has not created (perhaps it has even become a metaphor for 'that work which I have yet to create'), I believe that 'Maquillage' is that piece... A piece where I need to just pour my guts onto the stage and say, "Here it is; this is what I am. You can take it or leave it now." I don't want to be one thing, and yet I do not want to be all things. I don't want to just be a funny, happy cabaret entertainer, but at the same time I don't want to be that seriously 'deep' and pretentious artist who no-one gets. Is there a balance?

Still, there is supposed to be versatility in artists, and if I did not believe I could equally apply my hand to an installation or cabaret piece, then I would not be a so-called 'performance artist'.

Aside from my placement work today, I thought I would relay some more thoughts on my cultural development within Montreal. I went to a restaurant by myself today. It was nothing special; our equivalent of a greasy spoon. But the waitress spoke to me and I understood, then she made a joke and I laughed, then I was strangely touched... She obviously knew I wasn't French-Canadian, but she also knew during our conversation that I understood the nuances of French well enough to introduce a joke to our dialogue. Strange, and yes it was only a restaurant, but very significant to my cultural development. I think after just over a week French has become more natural. It's a shame really... I think the Canadians are lucky to live in a bilingual city. I'd love to stay and practice more so I could be perfectly fluent!