Self- Evaluation

Firstly, I would like to say that my writing style always sets up it's own framework to work in and then picks itself apart from the inside. I give myself linguistic concepts with which to work in and use them to construct an argument to which the audience falsely agrees. From the love/ virus to the something/ nothing debate, I think my pieces present short evaluations of accepted constructs. To use the term again, the "post-romantic" notion always comes through of swaggering between completely dry and ironic, to that slightly caring, sensitive and rose-tinted.

I am more optimistic that this piece acheives it's aims more than the random element of my last piece. I think stillness and self indulgence was needed, as well as the notion to destroy the less organic speech. Editing seems to be important in the rehearsal stage for me, as I realise now that the spoken and written word impact in different ways. Something can be read or something can be said and differentiating what to use when is key in formulating more streamlined pieces. By allowing myself stillness and a slow pace, I have been able to enjoy speaking and performing.

In terms of performance, I think I have learned the invaluable lesson of enjoying the silence. There is no pressure to entertain; the piece is constantly in motion but that does not mean that the performer should be. Pace and tension are good tools, and as this piece is based on concepts of time, awkwardness, and ethereality, I allowed myself to indulge in the luxury of time.

However, in reading new definitions of performance art, I feel I must conceptualise beyond the 4th wall. I don't think I'm at that stage yet, but I must think of the body as a presence to perform art, not just as a performer. I need to strike a balance between the ambitious and the simplistic; to create something stunning and spectacular, but also with a clear point that follows through and leads the audience to my conclusion.

Saying that, my confidence in creating has increased. This piece was more natural and in turn I feel more excited about presenting it. Well, maybe "excited" is an over statement, but I am intirigued as to whether it truly does meet it's aims.

As for the music issue, perhaps silence was too big a leap for me. I did keep it simple, though, so as not to detract from the piece. It is repititious so that it will drop out of the audience's conciousness but leave enough to create an atmosphere.

I would like to give a quote by Sarah Kane: "theatre has no memory, which makes it the most existential of the arts...I keep coming back in the hope that someone in a darkened room somewhere will show me an image that burns itself into my mind." I think this somes up my piece quite nicely. By it's very nature and it's discussion of time it is existential, but by representing it as a performance piece, I have encapsulated the essence of notions of the movement of time and the uncertainty of the future. By letting it exist in the moment, it reaffirms the transitional nature of performance, life, death, expectations and the future.