Exploring cyberspace

I've recently been researching cyberspace and the possibilities of performing within the "virtual" world of Second Life. Whilst becoming entrenched in a pile of books and journals, I started to ask how 'real' is digital reality? I came across a very interesting theory by Slavoj Zizek about the 'reality' of cybersex. If sexual contact is already phantasmic in the sense that the body of the other person serves merely as a vessel onto which we project our sexual desires, then cybersex surely serves the same function making it as real as any other kind of sexual contact.

This got my trail of thought going... If we act/ perform/ create in real-time in a different digital reality, then it is no less real than the physical or biological which we pin the word 'real' on to. I started to resent using the words 'real' and 'virtual' to distinguish between the physical world and Second Life.

However, I am slightly concerned that doing away with the physical body would strip us of the ability to subconciously perform identities through our body. For example, an embodied, engendered feminist performance, or performing culture through our physicality. Is it lost? Is creating new and multiple online identities immoral or does it create a new way of 'interfacing' with yourself?

And how do we define 'liveness'- the essence of performance art? Does it mean live-through-presence, or does it represent live-through-time-based-moments? I feel it could (and has already) start to divide performance artists in what they feel is essential to this umbrella term.

There are two sides of the debate- where a move towards 'body as information' represents a fear and loathing of the weak, mortal body and a quest to embed ourselves in the machine versus the fear of the omnipotence of the machine. But perhaps by representing our 'imagined selves' we do simulate a part of what we try to capture on stage- always playing this 'imagined other' who we never really are.

Second Life is relatively new in the performance art world, and I think its potential will be realised very soon. It will be interesting how it moves forward, and what that means in bringing its conciousness to the public forum.

Love Is A Number

I have been working on a performance piece called 'Love Is A Number' to perform at the Scenepool at Camden People's Theatre in February, and I have been surprised at how a few words can really challenge your whole behaviour. In the piece I talk about taking risks, and I thought it would be totally unfair of me to ask the audience to take more risks if I myself have not been risking anything. I had decided to 'practice what I preach'.

So, of late, I have been acting on those surreptitious smiles and casual glances and, believe me, it is like walking through life with your eyes open. So perhaps my theory that love is a numbers game is correct- the more impulses you act on, the closer you get to hitting that magical number...

However, if I ever do crack the mathematical formula to falling in love, I'm publishing a book and making my millions off of it.

The last day

The last part of my placement culmniated in seeing Alexis perform live in Montreal at a 'Words and Music' night. It was strange because Alexis' soundscape technique was used by another artist, but in a more structured way. After reviewing all of her documentation and learning about her practice, it was the perfect way to end the placement. Knowing that most of the time she is improvising in sound and in speech made the live moment more compelling. It also emphasised the difference between documentation and 'liveness'; an issue I have reseached avidly and with enthusiasm. It reinforced the performance artist's notion of liveness.

I also managed to speak to one of her friends who disclosed to me that Alexis had appreciated my time here, which made it all the more worthwhile.

Boot camp with more boot...

After the second day of the Boot Camp workshop, I feel more enthused about my creative work. The focus really was on drive and getting it out there. I feel like all artists have the same struggle; creativity is 50% of the work, and the other 50% is composed of all the other administrative tasks that go with that. Ivan Coyote was really effective at passing on a passion for writing and the easy and attainable way of getting a complete work done. The thing to bear in mind is that whatever work you do today will be more work than you had done yesterday and it's a positive step towards getting to the end.

Although it feels like this is 'stuff you should know', knowing that it is practical advice from a writer that employs these techniques gives it some kind of gravitas, making it seem publishable and attainable. A little work each day will eventually go a long way.

The workshop was good enough to make me want to start writing something right now...

Writing dates...

As it is the 'week end', I decided to continue my artistic development by joining a writer's workshop that was part of the 'Edgy Women' festival taken by novelist Ivan Coyote. It was called 'Boot Camp for Procrastinators' and really it was a refreshing take on those things you should already know about writing, and how to motivate yourself to write. The most imprtant thing was deadlines; I know I work really well to deadlines so I must create this sense of urgency to get it finished. Also, it's much easier to disappoint someone else rather than yourself, so if you make a deadline for you, you are unable to keep it. Make a deadline with someone else, and it's more likely that you will stick to it.

The rules are applicable to my performance work too. I must have the discipline to see thing through to the end, find out what distracts me and remove it, then have these mini deadlines so that I can keep going and create this urgency. Another important thing is 'first draft'. No matter how hard it is, as long as you have a completed draft you can always go back and revise later.

It was really inspirational; it's really made me want to write and get things done for a change. I think I've felt it before, but being at this stage in my life where I have taken steps to improve my creative career like, for example starting my MA, these practical tips mean a lot more to me. I have a story to tell, but it's always easy not to tell it than to commit it to paper and provide the discipline to make yourself heard. These simple little steps could become habit in the long run and improve the way I approach my work.

Cataloguing, compiling...

After 2 and a half days of reviewing documentation (!), the next half of the third day was spent cataloguing and making notes for Alexis. I also made her a DVD of what I thought were the 'best bits' and colour coded the tapes so that each colour represented a different performance outlet (like performance poetry, live music, theatrical et cetera). I later quizzed Alexis on the footage and she told me that most (not some) of her work is actually improvised, and that scripting her next piece is a challenge. I said to her perhaps that she should just have some key lines to go back to and improvise around them rather than totally throw it out the window. After all, this her performance 'style'.

I also went to see 'Hot Hot Gossip' by Dayna Macleod as part of the 'Edgy Women' festival. It was a lesbian theatrical soap opera, and was very sexually explicit, but enjoyable. I was in a dilemma as to the politics, or in this instance the lack of, staging a lesbian drama. Queer plays were initially staged to counter and introduce queer politics, but now I think it is possible we could be 'post-politics'. I suppose that could be a thing to celebrate... But I'm starting to sense a very big lesbian influence in the performance scene here. Alexis' contemporaries have also suddenly become very interested in me and asking me about myself... And why I have chosen to come to Montreal. I think it really reflects more on her than it does me!

I am now back to researching record labels that will be of use to Alexis

More documentation

The endless documentation and taking notes has perhaps made me think that I should be meticulous about my documentation and select the best bits as I go rather than doing it in one huge bite. It has taken me two days to go through, import and notate the timings of the videos and yet I am still not finished cataloguing or making notes on why I like the bits I have selected. I am now caught between balancing my 'work' and time to myself; a skill we all have to master. I am meeting Alexis later to hand over all the documentation.

After knowing and speaking to Alexis more, it becomes more and more apparent when I review the documentation exactly where she is improvising; something I know the audience would not suspect or catch on to. It's both a skill and a dangerous area. I think the real lesson to learn here is how to get up on stage with just a vague plan to improvise around without freaking out, feeling weird or nervous. I guess it's more to do with being comfortable on stage; being 100% 'okay' with the people there and just performing. I can learn that this may be one of the ways in which I could improve... To 'spill my guts' as I mentioned before I have to be comfortable with this almost Freudian freefall of words, actions, movements and noises onstage and that is totally valid. Perhaps this is more something I have to be comfortable with as a rehearsal technique. Anyway, this is definitely something to think about incorporating in my practice. 

I went out to see a student organised night called 'Art Matters' which was music and contemporary art by the students of Concordia University. I managed to meet a few visual artists as well as bumping into Alexis completely by accident. Still, it was nice to get out and 'mingle with the locals'. It never fails to amuse me when they try and imitate my accent. Someone in the street passed me and said 'Vous avez la classe!'.

I was very impressed...

I also went to La Musee D'Art Contemporanien (or the contemporary art museum) and I was lucky enough to see a 'Sound and Vision' exhibit they had on. I was most intrigued by a piano modified by Jean Paul Gauthier in which the piano began to play as soon as someone entered the room. The funny thing is, I managed to navigate my way around the piano and didn't find out until I was about to leave the room when there was an almighty clang! But still, it was anther example of performance in art; the piano requires a presence to work. I mention it as I keep thinking about installations and this is another example that could easily be worked in to something. I also got to see Christian Marclay's 'Telephones'; something I have read about about never seen., so it was worth it for that alone.

The woman on the door of the art museum said

"Etes-vous un etudiant?"

"Err... Oui. J'etude en Grande Bretagne"

"Ooo... Internationale!" she exclaimed excitedly... 

I think I'm starting to find everything slightly endearing.