The last day

The last part of my placement culmniated in seeing Alexis perform live in Montreal at a 'Words and Music' night. It was strange because Alexis' soundscape technique was used by another artist, but in a more structured way. After reviewing all of her documentation and learning about her practice, it was the perfect way to end the placement. Knowing that most of the time she is improvising in sound and in speech made the live moment more compelling. It also emphasised the difference between documentation and 'liveness'; an issue I have reseached avidly and with enthusiasm. It reinforced the performance artist's notion of liveness.

I also managed to speak to one of her friends who disclosed to me that Alexis had appreciated my time here, which made it all the more worthwhile.

Boot camp with more boot...

After the second day of the Boot Camp workshop, I feel more enthused about my creative work. The focus really was on drive and getting it out there. I feel like all artists have the same struggle; creativity is 50% of the work, and the other 50% is composed of all the other administrative tasks that go with that. Ivan Coyote was really effective at passing on a passion for writing and the easy and attainable way of getting a complete work done. The thing to bear in mind is that whatever work you do today will be more work than you had done yesterday and it's a positive step towards getting to the end.

Although it feels like this is 'stuff you should know', knowing that it is practical advice from a writer that employs these techniques gives it some kind of gravitas, making it seem publishable and attainable. A little work each day will eventually go a long way.

The workshop was good enough to make me want to start writing something right now...

Writing dates...

As it is the 'week end', I decided to continue my artistic development by joining a writer's workshop that was part of the 'Edgy Women' festival taken by novelist Ivan Coyote. It was called 'Boot Camp for Procrastinators' and really it was a refreshing take on those things you should already know about writing, and how to motivate yourself to write. The most imprtant thing was deadlines; I know I work really well to deadlines so I must create this sense of urgency to get it finished. Also, it's much easier to disappoint someone else rather than yourself, so if you make a deadline for you, you are unable to keep it. Make a deadline with someone else, and it's more likely that you will stick to it.

The rules are applicable to my performance work too. I must have the discipline to see thing through to the end, find out what distracts me and remove it, then have these mini deadlines so that I can keep going and create this urgency. Another important thing is 'first draft'. No matter how hard it is, as long as you have a completed draft you can always go back and revise later.

It was really inspirational; it's really made me want to write and get things done for a change. I think I've felt it before, but being at this stage in my life where I have taken steps to improve my creative career like, for example starting my MA, these practical tips mean a lot more to me. I have a story to tell, but it's always easy not to tell it than to commit it to paper and provide the discipline to make yourself heard. These simple little steps could become habit in the long run and improve the way I approach my work.

Cataloguing, compiling...

After 2 and a half days of reviewing documentation (!), the next half of the third day was spent cataloguing and making notes for Alexis. I also made her a DVD of what I thought were the 'best bits' and colour coded the tapes so that each colour represented a different performance outlet (like performance poetry, live music, theatrical et cetera). I later quizzed Alexis on the footage and she told me that most (not some) of her work is actually improvised, and that scripting her next piece is a challenge. I said to her perhaps that she should just have some key lines to go back to and improvise around them rather than totally throw it out the window. After all, this her performance 'style'.

I also went to see 'Hot Hot Gossip' by Dayna Macleod as part of the 'Edgy Women' festival. It was a lesbian theatrical soap opera, and was very sexually explicit, but enjoyable. I was in a dilemma as to the politics, or in this instance the lack of, staging a lesbian drama. Queer plays were initially staged to counter and introduce queer politics, but now I think it is possible we could be 'post-politics'. I suppose that could be a thing to celebrate... But I'm starting to sense a very big lesbian influence in the performance scene here. Alexis' contemporaries have also suddenly become very interested in me and asking me about myself... And why I have chosen to come to Montreal. I think it really reflects more on her than it does me!

I am now back to researching record labels that will be of use to Alexis

More documentation

The endless documentation and taking notes has perhaps made me think that I should be meticulous about my documentation and select the best bits as I go rather than doing it in one huge bite. It has taken me two days to go through, import and notate the timings of the videos and yet I am still not finished cataloguing or making notes on why I like the bits I have selected. I am now caught between balancing my 'work' and time to myself; a skill we all have to master. I am meeting Alexis later to hand over all the documentation.

After knowing and speaking to Alexis more, it becomes more and more apparent when I review the documentation exactly where she is improvising; something I know the audience would not suspect or catch on to. It's both a skill and a dangerous area. I think the real lesson to learn here is how to get up on stage with just a vague plan to improvise around without freaking out, feeling weird or nervous. I guess it's more to do with being comfortable on stage; being 100% 'okay' with the people there and just performing. I can learn that this may be one of the ways in which I could improve... To 'spill my guts' as I mentioned before I have to be comfortable with this almost Freudian freefall of words, actions, movements and noises onstage and that is totally valid. Perhaps this is more something I have to be comfortable with as a rehearsal technique. Anyway, this is definitely something to think about incorporating in my practice. 

I went out to see a student organised night called 'Art Matters' which was music and contemporary art by the students of Concordia University. I managed to meet a few visual artists as well as bumping into Alexis completely by accident. Still, it was nice to get out and 'mingle with the locals'. It never fails to amuse me when they try and imitate my accent. Someone in the street passed me and said 'Vous avez la classe!'.

I was very impressed...

I also went to La Musee D'Art Contemporanien (or the contemporary art museum) and I was lucky enough to see a 'Sound and Vision' exhibit they had on. I was most intrigued by a piano modified by Jean Paul Gauthier in which the piano began to play as soon as someone entered the room. The funny thing is, I managed to navigate my way around the piano and didn't find out until I was about to leave the room when there was an almighty clang! But still, it was anther example of performance in art; the piano requires a presence to work. I mention it as I keep thinking about installations and this is another example that could easily be worked in to something. I also got to see Christian Marclay's 'Telephones'; something I have read about about never seen., so it was worth it for that alone.

The woman on the door of the art museum said

"Etes-vous un etudiant?"

"Err... Oui. J'etude en Grande Bretagne"

"Ooo... Internationale!" she exclaimed excitedly... 

I think I'm starting to find everything slightly endearing.

Documenting practice

Today I've been mainly reciewing and selecting Alexis' 'best bits' from her WHOLE ARCHIVE of performance. In one sense, I am very lucky to have seen her whole archive of performance. Most people only ever get to see bits and bobs but having seen archive footage from 2000 to 2008, I have tracked Alexis' development as an artist and seen how it may apply to my own practice. Starting out as a performance poet, Alexis started using technology to manipulate her voice for effect, which then turned into building live soundscapes, and in turn then developed into any medium from cabaret to interactive installations. I see a lot of similarities in the way that I started as someone who made music, then someone who put performance pieces into my music gigs which, in turn, led to me going back to do my MA to develop my performance practice.

Reviewing the documentation has also forced me to consider opening up' my practice. I have always felt that it should be one thing or the other, when instead there is a time and a place for all parts of my practice. For example, the spectacle and 'song and dance' nature of my work has fitted into cabaret and entertainment pieces, but the thing I must, must realise and have discussed before is discarding this notion for 'forced entertainment'; as in worrying whether the audiece will like my work or not. Again, to go back to a work that has not created (perhaps it has even become a metaphor for 'that work which I have yet to create'), I believe that 'Maquillage' is that piece... A piece where I need to just pour my guts onto the stage and say, "Here it is; this is what I am. You can take it or leave it now." I don't want to be one thing, and yet I do not want to be all things. I don't want to just be a funny, happy cabaret entertainer, but at the same time I don't want to be that seriously 'deep' and pretentious artist who no-one gets. Is there a balance?

Still, there is supposed to be versatility in artists, and if I did not believe I could equally apply my hand to an installation or cabaret piece, then I would not be a so-called 'performance artist'.

Aside from my placement work today, I thought I would relay some more thoughts on my cultural development within Montreal. I went to a restaurant by myself today. It was nothing special; our equivalent of a greasy spoon. But the waitress spoke to me and I understood, then she made a joke and I laughed, then I was strangely touched... She obviously knew I wasn't French-Canadian, but she also knew during our conversation that I understood the nuances of French well enough to introduce a joke to our dialogue. Strange, and yes it was only a restaurant, but very significant to my cultural development. I think after just over a week French has become more natural. It's a shame really... I think the Canadians are lucky to live in a bilingual city. I'd love to stay and practice more so I could be perfectly fluent!

Meeting for documentation

Today, I met up with Alexis for her to exchange some documentation for me to review and compile as well as taking an opportunity to ask Alexis some more questions. She revealed to me about how 'slow going' she thought her practice was and referred to the 'hard copies' of work produced. She has one book and one CD released in 8 years (both of which she gave a free autographed copy of to me). This took me back to my research around issues of documentation, and how artists measure themselves perhaps not on the number of performances produced, but more on how much 'evidence' of their work exists, provoking me to once again ask myself the question whether performance documentation and detritus is necessary for the economics of art. I also thought about what Marilyn Aslem said at a panel discussion at the NRLA; "We make the work, and we want to keep it as well". Even if performances are committed to tape, do they still 'die' in our memories? This was furthered when Alexis spoke about being filmed professionally. As she finished her performance, he then said 'Can we try it from a different angle?"

To which she replied, "This isn't the kind of performance that can be reproduced; it's improvisational". This adds to the credence of 'liveness' to performance artists, although when I quizzed Alexis on the se of analog musical instruments and their 'liveness', she said that that wasn't an essence I had to use in live presence. 

I also asked Alexis about the organisation issue. Alexis did say it gets better, but her artistic practice is the only area in which she 'fetishises' organisation

On initial revew of documentation, I see that Alexis' wrk encompasses many different characters... Perhaps me having one is restrictive. I will feedback more on her practice tomorrow

Research/ rework

I think I have managed to reclaim the respectful distance needed to continue this relationship. Alexis and I are meeting tomorrow, and she has more or less agreed to my activities and I am currently researching 'The Day of the Dead' celebrations in Mexico and some record labels that may be interested in Alexis' band project 'Mankind'. 

It is the first time I have encountered the celebration 'Day of the Dead' so it was very interesting for me to read about it. It is a festival that celebrates Mexico's Aztec, European and American influences through it's iconography. From 31st of October (our traditional halloween) to the 2nd of November, people give out sugared skulls with their friend's names embossed on them and 'dead bread'. The comparison between this ephemera and the ephemeral nature of art struck me really heavily, and there are so many ways you could go with this festival. I also found out that eating and death are very heavily associated; in France they found that people would eat bread and wine by someone's death bed to 'eat their sins'. 

Researching for record companies made me reflect on the effort I have put into my own work; have I really tried to promote myself professionally? I think the answer would be a sadly resounding no. I am also forced to reflect on my attitude towards promotional packages and I have had a bad attitude towards them. Getting it perfect irritates me, and sometimes I am guilty of doing a rushed job with these things. I must put more of myself into them; if they do not reflect myself then how does that look to promoters, venues et cetera. I shall pull and archive my website, as well as invest in some good promotional shots. Lastly, I will endeavour to do a 'video only' shoot in a performance space; to recreate my performances solely for camera and editing, as well as archiving some other performances.

One thing I lack is organisation of my practice. Although I feel it is slightly hindered by my full time work, I must come up with a plan and stick to it. With the first year of my MA drawing to a close, I am determined that by September when my second year commences, all these elements will be in place. I also have a performance coming up in May at 'Gorefest Burlesque' in Bristol which, to be honest, is a much needed goal to work towards as well as a chance to do some debelopment and research on a piece I have been thinking about for quite some time.

I feel better about being in Montreal, too. From Monday morning, French seemed more natural, as well as walking along Rue St Catherine and ordering lunch; I have managed to adjust after the fully blown culture shock of last week. A lot of it was to do with confidence and how scary it is to be a foreigner, to be 3000 miles away from home with no-one to rely on but yourself and how you can rely on your own social skills and diligence to survive.

I think now I'd rather be here a few months!

Barriers and thoughts and things...

Friday was mainly devoted to the public performance of The Blender workshopped pieces. I was amazed that still, at the last minute, many of the performances were subject to change and improvisation, much to my surprise and probably to the detriment of the performers. They were missing that clarity of vision as well as the ability to 'own' their performance. Their insecurity showed through. One piece in particular, a parody of shamanism and meditation, was supposed to contain ots of humour elements, but took way too long to be punchy and even in performance the performer laughed at herself on stage in performance; almost a performance crime!

The lack of professionalism was apparent all over, from the bottom to the top. Unfortunate to say that after a long lunch, I had sensed that not only the workshop leaders had been drinking, but some of the students as well. This made me very tense and I wondered how the rest of the performance would come off. I also wondered where the maintenance of a sense of discipline, something I deem to be of very high value in performance of any kind (from Stanislavski to Gratowski and beyond), was and if this was not present, was the clarity of thought, structure, process and application of relevant critical and philisophical thought behind the performance?

I was attributed a certain amount of stage management and made sure people made their entrances and exits, as well as pulling and pushing curtains, putting together, arranging and choreographing the seating, as well as a certain amount of artistic encouragement and support for the nervous few. As usual there was a lot of waiting around, dipping of energy and the final push for performance.

I sense things are starting to become strained with Alexis, and I feel this is partially because she started off trying to develop a close relationship that she then sensed was outside her own comfort zones to which she promptly backed off. I have then since allowed her her distance and I feel that she might have construed this as aloofness. In turn, I feel this is part of a cultural barrier I am feeling in general about being in Canada, and I feel that this solo, intense one-to-one study would only work in two conditions; either we would have to have a very good personal relationship, or an extremely professional one. In absence of either, I have since tried to reclaim some kind of professionalism by trying to suggest activities that I can do independently, and if she so chooses to be involved with them then that is up to her. This way I can still be of assistance without making her feel uncomfortable. Hopefully this way we can negotiate some kind of working relationship.

In order to go some way to explain the culture shock and difficulties, I will attempt to explain some of the history of Quebec and the French Canadians as I have heard it from those who have experienced it (e.g. this is not meant to be an accurate historical representation, but an account of my experience of the sense of history from Alexis O' Hara and also my great aunt from Toronto who lived in Montreal until the Quebecoise demanded French supremacy):-

In the early 1990s, the Quebecoise started their rise to power in Quebec and demanded not just an equality, but a priority of French language above English, and more power to the populous French Canadians. It is true to say that the Anglophones were given better jobs and French Canadians were treated unfairly. In this new divide, Anglophones shipped out. Most moved to Toronto and Ottawa, leaving Montreal mostly populated with French Canadians, and young Canadians who were bilingual due to education and heritage. Thus, we are left with the Montreal with have today, and a residual bitterness for the Anglophones. I have been in Canada for 5 days and not one person has remarked on my accent, eccentricities, asked about where I come from in the UK or what the people are like there and I would go so far as to say they have avoided doing so. Being British is glossed over; I'm like a reminder of an embarrassing past or a horrible white oppressor. I start to wonder when the oppressed become the oppressors, does vengeance ever have a sense of forgiveness?

I also have a sense of a difference of humour. Sarcasm and wit, both what I feel are my and Britain's best qualities with humour, are largely bypassed here and they prefer obvious 'funniness'. To be honest, this makes me feel defenseless as humour is such an important part of forming friendships so I have mainly been relying on simplicity and niceties to get along. A very huge lesson to learn here is to how to survive without pretense or intricacies, but on your charm and intellect.

Although perhaps you may all too easily accuse me of being xenophobic, or generalising way too much but this is merely a representation of the cultural experience I am feeling. Above all, I feel like a spy and I want my role to be no more than that. I may facilitate, co-operate and provide an opportunity of assistance, but I mainly see myself as an outside eye to this culture. The irony is that the French Canadians are trying to 'reclaim their land'; a land that does not belong to either Anglophone or Francophone, but originally to the native Americans. If they could spot this irony, then perhaps they would retract their position on the cultural high horse and their victimised status and see themselves as the white wash that has always been prevalent.

That aside, the experience I am taking away with me is more to do with my own resourcefulness and cunning. How can you survive in a foreign country with no friends, connections and no one to rely on? I do not yet know the answer, but by the end of the placement, I think I will have definitely found out

A day later...

I attended a rehearsal last night with Alexis' duo 'Mankind' and they were preparing to record for their album. It is extremely interesting to watch purely for the element of watching them warp technology manually. I told Alexis that that was one of the main reasons I was interested in her work; her use of analog technology and the irreproducibility of her work. She, however, emphasised that this was not an important part of the live experience, but being live is.

Then I went to dinner with Alexis. It was a chance to observe her with her friends and get more info. I asked her about the leap to full-time artistic work, and she told me that there comes a point where you do have to take the plunge and see if you can live full time as an artist. This has always been the last barrier to break for me because of the constant financial instability. Alexis also expressed concerns over being egotistical as an artist, but I have always thought that artists will always be perceived to be this way because they are not conservative, but instead like to show people what they can do. 

Later it became apparent that the arts community in Montreal is very small. They have community celebrities and conventions that they all know of and talk about frequently, and it is not at all like the UK where the scenes and interests vary from city to city. I guess this is also a result of Canada's sparse population density. All the creatives seem to know each other; I spent last night sitting next to one of the actors from the film 'C.R.A.Z.Y.' (one of my favourite films made in Canada).

Today were the tech rehearsals for the performance of 'The Blender' tomorrow. I mainly observed the technical run through and took some photos. It strikes me that there is an element of delicacy in discussing people's work. Some of the work I really felt was too cluttered or too obvious, but I also feel because of this background where 'inter-arts' is such an exclusive arena, that they feel they are truly doing something innovative; they don't know where to draw the line or remove things as there is no scene dictating the framework. It would probably serve them well to class themselves as live or performance artists and then progress on a linear idea.

It was very interesting to see the work coming out as many of these people are professionals in other areas such as dance, and what their interpretation of performance or live art might be. I would have loved to have worked with them directorally, but at this stage I said nothing for fear of being patronising or discrediting their work.

Tomorrow will be a long day with rehearsals in the morning, then a performance in the afternoon...

Initial thoughts

Arriving in Montreal has been both a massive culture shock, but also a wonderful experience at the same time. Most surprisingly is that French is very much seen as the primary language here. Even if they respond in English, the enquirant must first ask in French, as if they are asking permission to speak English.

That aside, it is also an extremely beautiful city that embraces its constant duality. Between French and English, Canadian and European and culture and sleaze this city lives and breathes both of it in a way that perhaps I am not used to. In London we tuck away the bits we don't want to see in a very British way.

Today was the first day I met Alexis, and I feel that it has very much been a crash course. I have arrived midway through her series of workshops entitled 'The Blender', and today the participants were filming a documentary about themselves to get to know themselves and their practice. A very interesting method of finding these things out, the video forces them to ask questions to themselves as well as giving them a purpose to explain it; the video is watched by the rest of the class and it must therefore be clear what their purposes and intentions are in their work. The videos took on different forms, from being a faux-papparazzi question session to a serious and existential look at someone's practice, it traverses the participants' styles as much as their work.

Alexis has been very willing to answer my questions about her, her practice and the city of Montreal in general. Today she expressed when introducing me that live art is more popular in the UK and Europe than it is in Canada which surprised me somewhat given it's marginalisation in the UK. When I quizzed her, she said that Canadian government are more concerned with defining 'inter-arts' rather than terming it 'live art' as a bracket for many different practices, performances and cross disciplines. This, in turn, makes funding extremely difficult for anything that falls outside the 'inter-arts' category as the government has such strict guidelines on this.  

On her recent performance pieces, like the 'Sorrow Sponge' (performed at the National Review of Live Art) and 'Confessions' (these are both pieces where Alexis recorded people's voices via installation and then replayed and remixed them during live performance), she told me that she wanted to add more 'art' to her work and step outside the confines of the strict 'song and dance' relationship often associated with music and creation (a feeling I strongly share with her), and that she was very often pigeon holed in the spoken word scene. This was her way of 'breaking out' of this and trying to add a sense of liveness. I was somewhat surprised as I have often used her work as an example of 'liveness' (creating live, spontaneous soundscapes), that she did not see the framework she works outside of. In a sense, this made me realise that no matter how far you get or how much you do, there will always be something you're not happy with, something you want to change and something you can improve on. This 'artistic insecurity' is, I guess, what keeps artists creating new and innovative work.

Tonight I am meeting with her and D. Kimm to talk more about her London show, and what she wants/ expects me to stage.